I just got to Vegas a couple of hours ago. For the next three or four days I am going to be impersonating my neighbor Ralph. He is an executive with a company that does a good bit of advertising and he was supposed to be here at Caesar’s Palace at something which is called Ungagged. It bills itself as an Un Convention, but it is an Internet Marketing Conference 2014. Apparently all of the speakers are going to teach me how to make lots and lots of money selling stuff on the internet. In fact I am just going to go around and sign in, with Ralph’s name obviously, so that it looks like he was here. It would be a lot better if Ralph had let me have his expense account, but he was just paying me back for this little favor that I did for him a few weeks ago. Actually it was a big favor to him and not so big of a deal to me.
A few weeks ago Ralph and his girl were having problems and he got to drinking in this little pool hall about a mile or so away from the neighborhood. It is an okay place for the most part, but there are some guys there who are not exactly running away from trouble and Ralph got in it with this one guy. He was getting his butt kicked pretty good, looking a bit silly too. I guess you have probably seen drunk guys fight before. At any rate I stepped in and told the guy it was done. He and his buddies did not really think it was, but they did not do so good against a sober man. I took a chair and started swinging it around like crazy.